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Joke of the Day

CEO: chief embezzlement officer.

BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET: A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance,
the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

MOMENTUM INVESTING: The fine art of buying high and selling low.

VALUE INVESTING: The art of buying low and selling lower

P/E RATIO: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
market keeps crashing.

BUY, BUY: A flight attendant making market recommendations as you
step off the plane.

STANDARD & POOR: Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST: Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

MARKET CORRECTION: The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
toilet.

WINDOWS 2000: What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought
Yahoo @ $240 per share.

YAHOO: What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240
per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Someone who has owned equities for the
last two years and who's now locked up long-term in a hospital

PROFIT: Religious guy who talks to God 

Thought of the Day

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.  
~Norman Vincent Peale
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